# Why a Therapist's Humanity Is Itself Therapeutic | Anima Felix > Guest essay by psychotherapist Dana Mărghidan, PhD: what happens between sessions, what virtual companions can and can't do, and why the human relationship heals. Source: https://animafelix.com/blog/humans-and-virtual-companions-why-a-therapists-humanity-heals/ AI and mental health 6 min read # Humans and Virtual Companions, or Why a Therapist's Humanity Heals A guest essay by Dana Mărghidan, PhD, psychotherapist: on the space between sessions, on using apps with discernment, and on why a therapist's imperfect humanity is, in itself, healing. By Dana Mărghidan Psychotherapist, PhD, psihoterapeut.ro August 5, 2026 I like to tell the people I work with in my practice that the most important part of psychotherapy happens between sessions. It is an invitation to take responsibility: gradual, supported when needed, matched to the resources they have. A relay of trust. A way of carrying into real life what we have lived together in the therapeutic relationship. Support for trying new things, for testing hypotheses and alternatives, for learning through trial and error, for living what they have to live with less avoidance and more satisfaction. ## The space between sessions Like many of my fellow psychotherapists, I have been hearing in my practice more and more often lately that people talk to ChatGPT (or another generative-AI chatbot) between sessions about sensitive topics, sometimes in moments of crisis. They ask for advice and sometimes make big life decisions based on it, with a kind of blind trust. At first my own anxiety went up (!), then I began to explore these tools, to learn about them, to try them out myself. Over time I have recommended meditation, relaxation, and guided-breathing apps, or used biofeedback apps (HRV, pulse, and so on) in the therapy room together with the people I work with, so that they can then use them well on their own, when they need to. I see them as tools that leave room for the user's own effort, for maturing and autonomy. But between recommendation or intention and actual use there can be a gap. These tools can end up being treated as a substitute for psychotherapy, a more convenient, more available form of support. The problem is not AI; it is mistaking a tool for a relationship. ## Complementary tools Mindfulness and wellness apps, all kinds of self-regulation devices and technologies, virtual companions: they are already here. We cannot say the same about the studies that would confirm their effectiveness and safety. Those are still in their early days, and until enough reference points accumulate, the best thing to do is education about using them appropriately, with full awareness. In November 2025, the APA (American Psychological Association) published [a set of recommendations](https://www.apa.org/topics/artificial-intelligence-machine-learning/health-advisory-chatbots-wellness-apps). Let me pause on the one I consider essential: *"GenAI chatbots, wellness apps that use GenAI, and digital wellness apps should not be used as a replacement for a qualified mental health care provider, but may be appropriate as a supportive adjunct, not substitute, to an ongoing therapeutic relationship."* The advisory also discusses certain benefits and several clear risks and limits of these tools. They are covered, too, in a few articles on this blog, and they are certainly not exhaustive: [Can You Trust AI with Your Mental Health? What the Research Says](/blog/can-you-trust-ai-with-your-mental-health/) and [AI Therapy vs Human Therapy: What AI Can and Can't Do](/blog/ai-therapy-vs-human-therapy-what-ai-can-and-cant-do/). ## The therapist's humanity The life situations and interactions that arise organically, inevitably, in any relationship, and therefore in the therapeutic relationship too, are genuinely shaping and healing. Studies on the effectiveness of psychotherapy confirm the importance of this relationship lived with a human being and validate the importance of the therapeutic alliance. Here are a few illustrations. **Kind witnesses.** We all need benevolent witnesses while we tell or live out our story, and the sense of trust and safety comes largely from non-verbal signals: the therapist's facial expressions, posture, a smile that reaches the eyes, their concrete reactions. **Repairing trust.** One of the two (client or therapist) gets it wrong or is simply uninspired at some point, and has to work with the other on a repair: not just an "I'm sorry" or the quick, easy goodwill of a virtual companion, but trust rebuilt layer by layer, meeting by meeting. **A bodily mirror.** The client reacts in their body and the therapist notices, like a mirror, and that is what carries the work from thoughts and reasoning to layers that are much harder to reach in front of a screen: the irrational side, projections, the shadow. **Real involvement.** The therapist feels an emotion, or has a bodily reaction of their own, that they can talk about, that can be used as a clue, and that is valuable in itself: they care, they are there, they are involved. **Fertile silence.** A fertile silence can appear, one the therapist does not rush to cover with an opinion or an idea, and that is how new resources are born, along with the confidence that you can, while being looked at with kind, supportive eyes. **Co-regulation.** Sometimes the self-regulation someone attempts in therapy, after a hard situation, is not enough, and then the therapist offers feedback, noticing in real time what can be adjusted and where it is not working, even when the person cannot put it into words. More than that, they co-regulate: the client's overflowing emotions and the therapist's steady nervous system in that moment click together, a soothing effect appears, and that is the core of better future self-regulation, the taste of calming down together. **Frustration lived with maturity.** Frustration is inevitable in a relationship, and in therapy the focus is not on removing it at any cost through artificial politeness, but on becoming able to live with it maturely over time. In other words, the long-term benefit of the person in therapy is chosen over their temporary comfort. **Imperfect humanity.** The therapist is there, in their imperfect humanity, one human being next to another, with a life journey of their own that they do not hide behind endless competence and availability: they sweat when it is hot, forget, run late, take an urgent call from a child home alone, go through a divorce, eat during the break. **Equality and autonomy.** Being in therapy, in a human relationship, you gradually realize that you are the therapist's equal, that you can become more and more competent at managing your own life (rather than a pupil permanently guided by a virtual entity), and the therapist confirms and encourages this, which comes with a felt sense of personal power and autonomy: the goal of every form of psychotherapy, in the end. ## What a virtual companion can and cannot do With a virtual companion you can certainly learn many useful things, have interesting, inspiring conversations, and get through a moment of mild anxiety with flying colors. But you probably cannot reach the deep, personal causes of your anxiety, and you cannot say that it truly cares. That is felt only in warm, imperfect human relationships, harder to manage than an app on your phone and complex enough to ask effort, involvement, and creativity of us, and precisely in this way able to push us to grow. At [psihoterapeut.ro](https://psihoterapeut.ro) we hold real meetings where we talk about relationships and projects we care about, we propose monthly themes through an interactive newsletter, and we publish articles on wellbeing, self-regulation, and reducing anxiety. The problem is not AI; it is mistaking a tool for a relationship. Related pages Can You Trust AI with Your Mental Health? AI Therapy vs Human Therapy AI companion apps and loneliness Our methodology and limits ## Frequently asked questions Can an AI chatbot replace psychotherapy? + No. The APA's November 2025 health advisory is explicit: generative-AI chatbots and wellness apps should not be used as a replacement for a qualified mental health care provider. At most they can be complementary tools that support an ongoing therapeutic relationship. How do I use an app between therapy sessions in a healthy way? + As a tool, not as a relationship: for breathing, grounding, or journaling exercises, ideally discussed with your therapist. The warning sign is when the app becomes the more comfortable option that starts replacing sessions, or the people in your life. What can a virtual companion not offer? + What only happens between two people: repairing trust after a mistake, emotional co-regulation, fertile silence, frustration lived with maturity, and the real sense that the other person cares. A virtual companion can help in a moment of mild anxiety, but it usually cannot reach the deep causes of anxiety. Author Dana Mărghidan · Psychotherapist, PhD, psihoterapeut.ro Psychotherapist with nearly 30 years of work in the therapy room and in academic settings. Base training in classical Morenian psychodrama, doctoral research in couple therapy, and EMDR training for situations that call for complex interventions. Part of the psihoterapeut.ro community, where she writes about wellbeing, self-regulation, and reducing anxiety. Read author profile Where Anima Felix fits ## Where Anima Felix sits in this story Anima Felix is built exactly as a complementary tool, not a substitute for therapy: short breathing and grounding exercises for the space between sessions, with its limits stated plainly. And for the human side, AFK offers anonymous support from real people, not from an AI. Neither app replaces a qualified professional, and neither is for moments of crisis. How Anima Felix helps Discover AFK More from the blog Understanding anxiety Anxiety vs ADHD: Why They Overlap and How to Tell Them Apart A busy mind, restlessness, trouble focusing: anxiety and ADHD share surface symptoms and often occur together. But the engine behind them is different, and telling them apart usually needs a professional. Understanding anxiety Anxiety After Drinking: Hangxiety Explained You had a few drinks, and this morning the anxiety hit before your feet touched the floor. Hangxiety is not guilt or weakness. It is a measurable chemical rebound in your brain, and it has an expiration time. Work anxiety Anxiety and Perfectionism: When Good Enough Never Is The kind of perfectionism that makes you rewrite one email for 40 minutes is not about wanting good work. It is an anxiety management strategy, and seeing that changes how you work with it.